Redneck
04-13-2002, 18:28
After President Clinton injured his knee, his press secretary was asked if he had been given painkillers. The answer, 'Yes, but he didn't swallow them.'
The IRS wants to improve its image. They will no longer answer the phone with 'Next victim', and their new mascot 'Timmy the Tax Collector' will replace the Grim Reaper. (Daily Scoop)
A third grade boy was arrested, strip searched and charged with a felony for writing his name in wet cement in Las Vegas. Things have really changed in Las Vegas - in the old days it was okay to put whole guys in cement.
New FAA figures show that a record 573 million passengers flew on US airlines during 1996. During those flights 273 arrived in the same city as their luggage.
Prince William has been confirmed into the Church of England. Now, just like his mother and father, he must obey the nine commandments.
Ian Wilmut, the Scottish scientist who cloned the sheep, was in Washington to appear before Congress... at least they think it was him. His wife said, 'No, he was with me the whole time...' (Leno)
Scientists in Oregon say they have cloned a monkey. This technique has just been perfected. They tried cloning monkeys in the '60s but only ended up with bad clones of the Beatles.
Recent tests found that 54% of California's fourth graders scored below average in basic skills. 'That's almost half!' said a stunned fourth grade teacher.
The Pentagon has revised its position on Gulf War Illness - it doesn't exist, but it may be contagious.
Computer users are excited about the new super fast modems. They will allow you to download more easily, set up Web pages quickly, and reach the America Online busy signal much faster.
The IRS wants to improve its image. They will no longer answer the phone with 'Next victim', and their new mascot 'Timmy the Tax Collector' will replace the Grim Reaper. (Daily Scoop)
A third grade boy was arrested, strip searched and charged with a felony for writing his name in wet cement in Las Vegas. Things have really changed in Las Vegas - in the old days it was okay to put whole guys in cement.
New FAA figures show that a record 573 million passengers flew on US airlines during 1996. During those flights 273 arrived in the same city as their luggage.
Prince William has been confirmed into the Church of England. Now, just like his mother and father, he must obey the nine commandments.
Ian Wilmut, the Scottish scientist who cloned the sheep, was in Washington to appear before Congress... at least they think it was him. His wife said, 'No, he was with me the whole time...' (Leno)
Scientists in Oregon say they have cloned a monkey. This technique has just been perfected. They tried cloning monkeys in the '60s but only ended up with bad clones of the Beatles.
Recent tests found that 54% of California's fourth graders scored below average in basic skills. 'That's almost half!' said a stunned fourth grade teacher.
The Pentagon has revised its position on Gulf War Illness - it doesn't exist, but it may be contagious.
Computer users are excited about the new super fast modems. They will allow you to download more easily, set up Web pages quickly, and reach the America Online busy signal much faster.